So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
