worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
