he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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