i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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