did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
