hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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