I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
