I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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