This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
