My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
