Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't deserve a penis
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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