I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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