She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
