hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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