I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
