so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
