I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
