i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize