He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
