Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
