He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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