You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
