Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
