Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
