somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
