You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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