It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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