So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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