Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
