ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
