I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
