Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
