You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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