i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
