That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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