There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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