i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
