i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
