i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
