The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
