I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
