I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
