According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I need moral support for this bender
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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