I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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