the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
