My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize