I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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