I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
