party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
