i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
