That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
