so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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