theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
