either way he was missing a nipple.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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