"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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