What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
