hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
