Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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